Preschool
Don’t really have time to post anything today. Here’s something funny by Zach Galifianakis!
Don’t really have time to post anything today. Here’s something funny by Zach Galifianakis!
Aside from the cialis, ephedra and other spam ads that I get here and on TiFaux, there’s a whole lot of hilarious porn. I just like saying the following items in a complete deadpan, like this is stuff that you could actually find on my blog. Perhaps one of these can be the tagline up on the header.
The first one is my favorite. I’ve put asterisks in the naughty words so I won’t get perverts googling my site.
David Rakoff, last night at the reading.
“Being gay doesn’t make you witty. You can suck a mile of cock and it won’t make you Oscar Wilde. I know, I’ve tried.”
I wish I had the power that whenever I winked, the sound of a triangle would go off. Diiiiiing! Either that, or whenever I flashed a million-dollar smile, there would be a triangle and a my teeth would twinkle.
I don’t really ever check Gawker, but I checked a couple times over the past few days in the vain (<---- get it? double meaning!) hope that the TiFaux tournament would be linked to. No such luck.
Site Map There’s not a whole, whole lot I’m interested in on the site, but the Gawker Stalker did catch my eye. It’s basically the column where people write “I saw Lindsay Lohan tweaked-out and dancing to imaginary music in the East Village” or “I saw Diane Sawyer order an everything bagel with low-fat cream cheese in mid-town. She’s way hotter than you’d expect in person!” It’s definitely more interesting than the Washington Post’s version of the same thing where it usually involves James Carville meeting four obese undersecretaries for a steak dinner or, if we’re lucky, a Bush twin getting kicked out of a club.
But the Gawker Stalker really confirmed to me that I never want to be a celebrity — not that I’m really ever going to be at risk for becoming one. Unless I become a famous murderer or something. Or unless that YouTube clip of me, a skateboard and a life-sized portrait of Imelda Marcos becomes a viral sensation.
But can you imagine being well known and just doing your normal business and having people constantly looking at your every movement and judging you? So weird.
So, if I were somehow a celebrity for some reason, and people reported sightings of me, this is what it would be like.
See also: Nicknames I have in my head for people at the coffeeshop