Why I Oughtta

A new friend of mine has the last name “Money.” Apparently, he had a hard time registering for Facebook because of it.

It’s an epidemic.

The same thing happened to my friend Eric Hotasiansluts.

Apparently, this dog belongs to a friend of a friend.

Wait for it.

Eugene Mirman is coming to town! Woo hoo!

Like Maria Bamford, he’s coming to the Arlington Cinema and Drafthouse. I’m sending out a cattle call for anyone who’s interested to contact me post haste.  He has two shows the weekend of May 31.

Here’s him riffing on Canada. Meanwhile, “riffing on Canada” should be a euphemism for some sort of sex act.

In order to defeat the pterodactyls, we must first learn to think like them.

Ekrobi is going half-time Lincoln, half-time squirrels.

moar funny pictures

I had a dream the other night that must say really weird shit about my subconscious.

I dreamed that NPR was having a donation-y weekend where the more you pledged, the more swag you’d get.  It’s like those PBS telethons where if they have Christine Baranski or someone offering you a Prime Suspect visor if you donate $500 or a Ken Burns headband for $1,000.

In any case, during this particular telethon, if you donated $10,000 then they’d give you your very own NPR grill. Which would be awesome.

It made me wonder what else they could offer for some of the high-dollar donors. Perhaps twenty minutes alone in the NPR conference room with Diane Rehm. Clothing optional. No rules, no questions.

I think that saying “That’s my new band name” is a bit played out (example: Ekrobi says to me, “I like learning about Abraham Lincoln and dark matter.” The catchy name you would be responding to would be “Abraham Lincoln and dark matter.”).

Why not mix it up with…

“That’s my new blog name!”

Or even…

“That’s my new safe word!”