Why I Oughtta

1. Grover is bitter.
2. I’m being completely serious when I say that these are the craziest motherfuckers I’ve ever seen.
3. And in more Falwell news, as much as I’m disinclined to like Christopher Hitchens, I did enjoy this interview with Anderson Cooper.
4. Print out this coupon to get 20% off anything at Border’s.
5. Print out this coupon for 15% off stuff at Express.
6. Umm… anyone want to go to New York July 21?
7. Kelly Clarkson gets some unexpected indie cred.
8. Songs about zombies.

1. Iron and Wine’s new album won’t come out til September. Wah. But he says it’s going to be wild and wacky.
2. Get 20% off a book at Borders with this printable coupon.
3. Thirty towns in Vermont have passed resolutions to impeach Bush.
4. That Joanna Newsom EP will have a new track called “Colleen” and reworkings of “Cosmia” and “Clam Crab Cockle Cowrie.”
5. Captain America is dead.

1. This PostSecret made me laugh my ass off.
2. Buy me this. It’s on sale.
3. Ekrobi has brought these gay marriage and terrorist finger puppets to my attention. Last Passover I had an experience with these 10 plague finger puppets (my favorite is death of the first-born).
4. Jake Gyllenhaal did Letterman. While looking handsome.
5. Arrah and the Ferns do some twee live tracks.

1. Snowden has a free downloadable remix EP.
2. New stuff on Superdeluxe: Maria Bamford has this weird Guacamole short and the second episode of her web show (which does recycle some material for you superfans). Chelsea Peretti has a follow-up to Making Friends.
3. An interesting article about misunderstood movies that people are bound to disagree with.
4. CSS covers L7’s Pretend We’re Dead.
5. Get Norton Anti-Virus free after a mail-in rebate.
6. An interview with Kimya Dawson. Side note: did you know she named her baby Panda? I’m inclined to think it’s awesome, but most of me just wants to hang my head.
7. NPR profile of Kristin Hersh.
8. K and I went to go see Snowden with Malajube last night. I actually enjoyed Malajube’s set more — they were all French Canadian and cute and the singer looked like Gael Garcia Bernal in The Science of Sleep. Mostly because he was wearing a silly hat (see below). You can download one of their songs here.

I got some crappy news two weeks ago today and my Mom called me at work for consolation. I won’t get into the crappy news here, thanks to my newfound and constnantly-evolving barrier between blogable and non-blogable life. But at one point in the conversation, she said to me “Well, when the going gets tough, the tough go shopping.”

It was a moment you can’t fully appreciate unless you’re a member of a mother/gay son relationship.

So, two days later my Grandma dies and we’re all headed up to Ohio for the funeral. She’d been in an assisted living facility (in various capacities) for about a year and was then in the full-time care. During the eulogy, after discussing her work teaching English as a second language, her family and her friends, the rabbi felt compelled to mention her lifetime love affair with shopping.

Even in her later days, she would still remember the record number of catalogues she got in one day (thirty-seven).

I guess when you get older certain aspects of your personality get exaggerated. In my Grandma’s case, it was her compulsion to go to Chico’s. She frequently brought it up, so the nurses at the facility finally resolved to put on a fashion show. They arranged with Chico’s to get some clothes, and all of the nurses modeled the outfits. Apparently, there was a microphone involved with this production and someone made the mistake of giving it to my Grandma. She took the opportunity to rave about the fashions and to laud the good people at Chico’s.

I can only imagine myself in my 80s — screaming about reality shows on the hologram television and wondering why my Asian grandkids don’t call.

In general, I’m very much opposed to novelty socks. Especially if they’re holiday themed — but that might just be because I’m also very much opposed to Christmas.

It just seems to me that novelty socks make adults seem like children and not in an altogether flattering way. It’s one thing to have a youthful spirit (getting excited about snow or cookies) or an appropriate sense of nostalgia (cupcake parties, classic kids books and movies). But it’s a different, completely off-putting, thing entirely when women speak in baby voices or people refer to asses as “tushies” or sandwiches as “sammies.”

Think about Rachael Ray. Yeah, that’s exactly what I’m talking about.

However, I might have to have a moment of weakness at some point today and pony up the four bucks to buy these communist socks.

I mean, come on. Awesome.

Also, if you enter in these handy coupon codes you can get them even cheaper.

1. The Pipettes and figure skating — a natural combination (thanks K).
2. The Smashing Pumpkins reunion is a sham. I’ll be curious to see what Billy Corgan’s album is like, but I’ll just think of it as his second solo album.
3. Buy one, get one free at Cold Stone Creamery. Just print out this coupon.
4. Natalie Dee’s good today. It’s called “It’s a good talent, but I’m afraid the judges will find it redundant.”
5. Counties! Care for gays, care for gays!
6. Get a free flosser through the mail.

1. Israel recognized its first gay marriage. And look at the wee gay! He’s so cute!
2. Save 10% at Target when you order online by using this coupon code.
3. My new favorite term no one will ever use.
4. Morning Becomes Eclectic has a lot of good stream-able concerts.

Buy refurbished iPods on the cheap!!!