Why I Oughtta

Dear Murky Coffee,

I thought we had an arrangement.

On my lazy weekday nights, I’ll come home, go to the gym, eat some sort of weird piecemeal dinner (tonight it was a drumbone of leftover Peruvian chicken and a slice of veggie pizza). I’ll still be sort of hungry, but that’s where you come in. I come in and drink coffee to suppress my hunger and check e-mail compulsively. It’s a safe space without caloric temptation.
And now what have you gone and done?  Started to sell cupcakes?  Delicious, soft cupcakes with rich, swirly frosting on top.  The kind that you can just imagine biting into and then forgetting you have any problems.

Now how am I supposed to keep up my weirdo eating habits with this new development?

We are so in a fight.

DAN

PS — you’re lucky that the title track off the new Laura Veirs is so cute, my hostility is somewhat muted.