Why I Oughtta

I feel like this flower looks like a cab driver. Just the way it was naturally pointing forward. It’s kind of Italian.

So I sunk over six hundred bucks on my new camera and I took it out for a test run. I took some really easy pictures outside, but I’m quite pleased with the results.

There’ll be more where that came from.  Hopefully lots of cool Gothic stuff from the cemetery in Savannah.

1. John Amaechi, Billy Bean and Esera Tuaolo talk to Radar about gayin’ it up in professional sports.
2. You can buy me this, while you’re at it. It’s on sale.
3. God love the bonobo. “Nearly all of these peace-loving apes are bisexual and often resolve conflict by the “make love, not war” principle. They copulate frequently, scream out in delight while doing so, and often engage in homosexual activities. About two thirds of the homosexual activities are amongst females.”
4. The New Republic questions the legitimacy of David Sedaris’ stories. He responds.

Say what?

Say BAND CAMP!

Say what?

Say BAND CAMP!

1. Hutch Harris from The Thermals talks to Stereogum for their cool ongoing feature Quit Your Day Job — where indie stars talk about what they do when they’re not rockin’ out.
2. A t-shirt about punching unicorns.
3. Have you voted in the TiFaux tournament yet? It’s pretty awesome. The men’s bracket up is now, as well as round two for the ladies. Plus we have all sorts of weirdos coming out of the woodwork declaring their undying love for stars you normally wouldn’t give a second thought to. I mean, Maura Tierney’s great, but who knew she’d inspire such loyalty?
4. Roddy Woomble sings a Robert Burns song on Scottish TV. I’m beginning to develop this weird affection for Scottish/Irish folk songs. I don’t really know what that’s all about. [youtube]YWBmVqY_hA4[/youtube]
5. NPR is streaming Nellie McKay’s concert last night at the Birchmere.
6. Secrets to finding free internet music.
7. An article about Malajube.

1. German Sexy Time
2. The Actor
3. The Actor (with an accent on the second syllable)
4. Skinny Arms
5. Pizza Stone
6. The Ukranian
7. Not Latin
8. Boatsy
9. Triv
10. Dysfunctional Boy
11. Pocket Matt
12. Gay Mormon
13. The Jew
14. Seattle’s Best
15. The Bassoonist
16. The Clarinet Player
17. Ukelele Girl
18. The Patriot
19. Mini Horse
20. Duck Boy
21. The Cutest Boy in School
22. The Cutest Boy in Hebrew School
23. The Historian
24. Adorable Skinny Librarian
25. Pretty Redhead
26. KSW
27. Boy/Girl Chris
28. Spanikopita

Dear sweet potatoes,

I love you.

DAN

1. My article on Doubt, now playing at the National Theatre, is up on the WP Express Web site.
2. Stickles found an awesome picture of Jon Stewart. Three guesses as to why she was doing that.
3. Barbara Boxer is my new girlfriend. And how big of a dick is Inhofe?
4. Weeee!!!! You can download the SXSW performance by The Pipettes here.
5. I linked to this a long time ago, but it’s been updated a bunch. Kori from Mates of State is keeping this baby tour blog on babble.com. It’s pretty insightful as to what life on the road is like when you’ve got a wee blonde babe in tow.

I don’t really ever check Gawker, but I checked a couple times over the past few days in the vain (<---- get it? double meaning!) hope that the TiFaux tournament would be linked to. No such luck.

There's not a whole, whole lot I'm interested in on the site, but the Gawker Stalker did catch my eye. It’s basically the column where people write “I saw Lindsay Lohan tweaked-out and dancing to imaginary music in the East Village” or “I saw Diane Sawyer order an everything bagel with low-fat cream cheese in mid-town. She’s way hotter than you’d expect in person!” It’s definitely more interesting than the Washington Post’s version of the same thing where it usually involves James Carville meeting four obese undersecretaries for a steak dinner or, if we’re lucky, a Bush twin getting kicked out of a club.

But the Gawker Stalker really confirmed to me that I never want to be a celebrity — not that I’m really ever going to be at risk for becoming one. Unless I become a famous murderer or something. Or unless that YouTube clip of me, a skateboard and a life-sized portrait of Imelda Marcos becomes a viral sensation.

But can you imagine being well known and just doing your normal business and having people constantly looking at your every movement and judging you? So weird.

So, if I were somehow a celebrity for some reason, and people reported sightings of me, this is what it would be like.

• “At 8 last night, I saw Dan at Giant, getting yelled at by the cashier because he didn’t remind her to give him his $40 cash back. He had to wait for the next customer to get rung up so she could get the cash drawer open. What he bought: a giant tub of vanilla yogurt, generic Cheerios, four bananas and a stick of deodorant.”
• “I saw Dan trolling the sale rack at the Chinatown Urban Outfitters. He scanned the men’s section, as if he were intimately acquainted with each piece of merchandise, and left empty-handed.”
• “Dan was spotted at the gay bar JRs on 17th Street last night, white-knuckling an imported beer and looking wide-eyed and nervous. He kept to his group of friends the whole time and left the bar at 2 a.m. Alone.”
• “My friend and I were at the coffeeshop and we saw Dan there on his laptop. He kept looking over and staring at this bald guy in the corner with big armband tattoos. He stayed there for like two hours.”
• “I saw Dan walking downtown with his headphones on, looking oblivious to the world. He really wears his t-shirts too tight.”

So, I haven’t been able to access TiFaux all day. And I already did the news. And it’s going to be a while till that happens. Here it is on my blog.

• TV Guide has a pictorial of the sexiest stars.
• Prison Break gets renewed.
• ABC renewed basically all its shows — even Boston Legal and Supernanny.
• Larry “Bud” Melman, from old school Letterman, died.
• A “very angry” and “out of control” Jesse Metcalf (lawn boy from Desperate Housewives) is now in rehab.
• USA Today keeps track of The Office stars’ film projects.
• TV Land is going to have a show with the real life Laverne and Shirley — Cindy Williams and Penny Marshall. I thought they hated each other in real life. I’m probably making that up.
• O’Donnell v. Hasselbeck — once again.
• Trends among new pilots include big-name stars, soaps, British imports and (hey now!) DC-based shows.
• Dennis Haysbert doesn’t have great things to say about the new season of 24.
• The boys from Work Out talk to After Elton.