Why I Oughtta

No! No, no, no! Sweater! No!

I am a photoshop wizard.

1. Pretty Girls Make Graves is breaking up. They’ll do one last tour though, taking them to The Black Cat on May 20. Let me know if you want to go.
2. Also, The Noisettes are opening for TV on the Radio at the 9:30 Club April 18. Let me know if you want to come to that too.
3. Wired asks about 42 scientific mysteries. A fun list.
4. Maria Bamford’s new comedy CD, How to Win!, comes out today!
5. Photography exhibit anyone?
6. I don’t approve of this picture at all. John shouldn’t hang out with the likes of those two.
7. Why are people so obsessed with The Arcade Fire?  New album: just like the last one.

“Fat people are disgusting and hilarious. See my movie!” — Eddie Murphy

1. Jake. Why do you insist on talking about girls all the time. It’s unattractive.
2. Click here to watch Laura Veirs play a solo acoustic version of “Where Gravity is Dead.” And wear a fetching sweater.
3. Inara George has a new band called The Bird and the Bee. She’s on Leno right now, wearing this dress that looks like it was stolen from an extra on Laugh In.
4. Minnesota Public Radio has a lot of good stuff. Click here to listen to a bunch of bands’ live sets, including Snowden, Jamie Lidell, Now It’s Overhead, Matt Pond PA, Silversun Pickups and Tom Vek.
5. Worthy of mention: went to Express on my day off to pick over the remnants of the final clearance sale. I walked away with a $10 lamb’s wool sweater and a $10 dress shirt. My roommate Lems said that they are a “bluish purple” and strange shade of green, respectively. And she confirmed, just as I thought, that they would go quite well together. In fact, her mom would say they would look “snazzy.”
6. The man-bob is apparently a new fashion phenomenon. May I add We Are Scientists’ Keith Murray to that list?
7. Free crispy strips at KFC! Wooooo!

Indie Gay Jared recently forwarded me a list that I can only describe as “absolutely fabulous.”

It comes from a Web site called Love God’s Way — a ministry’s Web site — and it features an extensive list of gay bands that the youth should avoid at all costs. You can view the list here. Some of the bands are obvious. Scissor Sisters (of course). Melissa Etheridge and Ani DiFranco (duh). Boy George. It even adds a parenthetical after listing Elton John, noting that he is “really gay.”

But then the list takes some very odd left turns. Metallica? Sufjan Stevens? Jay-Z? John Mayer? Furthermore, after listing Morrissey, the author notes that he is “questionable.”
The list is complemented by a companion list of whitelisted bands. There are the usual suspects: Jars of Clay, DC Talk, etc. The whole Young Life set (by the way, when I was a kid my synagogue sent home a warning about Young Life — saying that it was trickery. They will lure you in with promises of soft drinks and board games and then — BAM! — it’s nothing but Christ, Christ, Christ). But the so-called “Safe List” also includes none other than Cyndi Lauper. This Cyndi Lauper. Now Cyndi may be a heterosexual, but for cultural reasons she’s gayer than a Project Runway marathon at Danny Pintauro’s house.

1. Okay, Jake. You know I love you no matter what, but honestly.
2. Persepolis is going to be a movie. Here’s a NY Times article about it.
3. My recent TiFaux stuff: J.P. from Survivor is a gay, I love Kate Walsh, and live-blogging the Golden Globes.
4. I forgot two nicknames from my list of coffeeshop people: Little Shakespeare and Whistler’s Brother.
5. Maria Bamford has a Web TV show on SuperDeluxe! She repurposes the bit about the girl in Target, but it’s still definitely worth watching!

Matt and Kim are a boyfriend/girlfriend rock duo and I’ve been listening to their debut all morning.

Mates of State comparison.

But they’re differen’t from MOS for a bunch of reasons.

1. She doesn’t sing.
2. He plays keyboards and she plays drums.
3. They’re scrappier.
4. The beats are more aggressive.
5. The vocals are shoutier.

Their MySpace page has some songs you can download to get a taste. They don’t have my favorite song, Lightspeed, but that’s okay.

1. Professor Elvis
2. The most beautiful man in the world
3. The Gremlin
4. Spoons
5. The Good Christians
6. That girl who’s way too hot to be dating that guy

• Update: #7 - Little Shakespeare; #8 - Whistler’s Brother