Why I Oughtta

Sidey: (n) /SIE-dee/ — a person who is primarily or only attractive from the side.
I was totally checking out that guy who was sitting at the booth on the other side of the restaurant, but when he got up to leave and I saw him from the front, I realized he was a total sidey.

I am trying to spread this word and make it a national sensation. It came to me several months ago when Ekrobi was disappointed at this guy who had a very attractive profile, but didn't have much to offer from other perspectives. Somebody said we should have a word to describe people like that and I offered “sidey.”

And it was glorious.