*cough*
I got my physical yesterday. It was the first time I'd had one in several years, so it was about time.
The only bad news I got was that my cholesterol was (still) somewhat high, so they put me on the joy-free diet. We'll see how that goes. I'll try to make some changes to the fundamentals of my diet (ie. changing my daily bagel w/ cream cheese to a healthy cereal with skim milk) and then we'll see how things go.
I had never met my doctor before I saw him yesterday as I was in my underwear with some bullshit piece of crinkly cotton-paper draped around my shoulders. I chose him at random from the Kaiser directory.
My doctor is like Rose from “The Golden Girls” inhabiting the body of a middle-aged black man. He is very jolly, but slightly “what's-going-on.” I never really doubted his medical skill, but he was still a bit… askew.
The weirdest part of the appointment was when I was sitting on the table and we were talking about my LASIK surgery. Admittedly, he did ask me where I went to school earlier in the conversation. But much earlier.
Me: “I got LASIK surgery almost exactly a year ago.”
Dr.: “I went to the University of Nebraska.”
Me: (beat) “Is that where they started LASIK research?”
Dr.: “No, I just went there.”
Me: “Well, that must have been… flat.”
Dr.: “Yeah! If you ever want flat, just go to Nebraska!”
What I wanted to say was “How did that go? Being the only black man in Nebraska?” But I restrained myself.
In other news, they had Entertainment Weeklys in the waiting room from 2001.